I have a lot of things whirring around my brain.

School is starting to be a very big deal. This is the real thing, the real stuff starts now. And I kind of expect my life to start changing in the next few weeks. I keep telling myself I’m ready I’m ready but i can only hope that’s true, and that I have the what I need to make it so. I just wish the days could be longer. I need time, focus, and god give me tolerance for the people I’ve been grouped with. Of all the students in my cohort, I had to be grouped with the one whose personality just rubs me the wrong way. But I want to try hard to find things about this person to like; I want to be a more accepting person.

Every day makes me more grateful for the wonderful man in my life, and everything we have together. Every day makes me more sure that yes, my future is his future and vice versa and more and more I am ready for this certainty that I’m starting to accept as fact. Because it’s not just about us beinginlove quite the same way anymore, it’s more about us getting by because of each other, sometimes in spite of each other. But also because he is my best friend, and he is the only only only thing in my life that has never for a moment been a question, or a challenge, or a heartache. For two years he’s been by my side through everything, and now it’s hard to think of anything I wouldn’t want him to be with me for, even or especially the times that are hard. I love his heart and his brain and his everything. Not the idea of him like it might have been two Februaries ago, but the real, every-day most true truenesses of himself that make him the great, imperfect masterpiece of a person, friend and lover he is. It’s amazing (but not a surprise) how much more my city feels like home now that we live in it together. Anywhere we’re together, no matter what I feel like, hearing his heartbeat brings me back to earth, and just our two bodies together makes a home.

And hey, the making out and such pretty is nice too.

Another nice thing is tiny silvery snowflakes swirling around in the sunshine

one of the best things is talking to a person I barely know for hours and hours walking around the city not paying any attention to my surroundings or the hour of night and getting into silly arguments an caring less somehow that he didn’t believe in love than that he didn’t believe in movies worth watching, and being so cold and tired, with no money for dinner but no real need, and lots of new ideas and old memories brought back, but most of all good company.

nevver:

I Want to Believe

(via iwantmybearsuit)

rachaelnotrachel:

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard.

I love this photo not because of their acting careers but because here they could be anyone in love, and that seems right and also a little magical.

(via leopoldgursky)

(via iwantmybearsuit)

Where do I want to live next year

Who do I want to be with

Who am I going to be

Will who I am be enough

for me, for everyone else, for my career

Why do I isolate myself when I’m lonely

How do I know whats right 

or when, or how, and what is enough anyway

people are too hard

alone is too hard

School is too hard

boredom is the worst

Make me do something. Make me do something right. For once i want to feel like I’m doing it right..

I have no reason to be awake for the rest of today. And tomorrow isn’t looking too promising either. 

And yet the consequences of napping are too great.

I really want to feel better.

(via w-i-l-d--h-e-a-r-t)

I should not have napped today. Not being able to fall asleep at night makes me miss Jake, and wish he was curled up with me. Waking up unrested will make the workday drag on, which will make me wish I had him to hug when I got home. Being cranky and overtired by the end of tomorrow means I will miss him more than ever. And I probably still won’t know when I’ll see him next, but I’ll have false hope in the fact that he could arrive any day. And every day he doesn’t come, I’ll sleep more during the wrong times, less during the right times, feel worse and worse, miss him worse and worse…

Woe is me.

Kendra, don’t take naps.

dearscarlet:

Dear Scarlet,
Today we went on an indoor sailing adventure. The mattress sea carried us to goldfish crackers. 

Everything about this family, at least from what they put on DearScarlet, is like a story book. It makes childhood look like such a fantastic miracle, which of course it is. It’s a childhood the way a childhood should be done.

Nothing I’ve ever seen has made me look forward to being a parent, and part of a brand new, 3 person family than this blog. When I have a child one day, she’s going to be allowed to wear anything, and be anything and try everything just like this precious little fireball is. And yeah, I’ll probably be snapping photos and blogging every single moment of it.

leopoldgursky:

e. e. cummings

• Sit in bed watching movies and shows all day long.
• Read the second half of The Fellowship of the Ring.
• Go to the post office in Fields Corner to send my Aunt in Germany a CD and return my heels that don’t fit (cry).
• Finish the plans for Jake’s treasure hunt on our 2nd anniversary.
• Housework (ha)

I’ think I choose all the options that don’t require effort, or getting dressed.

two stores that sell nursing shoes in Boston

both 50 minuets away by train and by foot

in opposite directions

fuuuuuuuck

Already up to an approximate $690 in textbooks this semester.

Not to mention the uniform I have not finished paying for, which will probably total around $160

Working every day for half of my winter break earns me a whopping $350.

Wahoo.